We headed through Leeds with a quick but important stop for snacks and ice cream, arriving at the Leeds Liverpool canal where we were met by Christy and Micah. Ashleigh put Bradie on her back and wrapped a scarf of Ro's around her. He'd left it following a visit to her house and I said he'd be very happy that she was keeping it. She and Bradie both wore the purple ribbons we had printed for Ro's memorial in Bradford in April 2024 "forever in our hearts."
A sunny and surprisingly warm day to walk the final 13 miles of my journey. I took my coat off and Maya offered to carry it in her bag, and the 8 of us headed West towards Bradford. Incredibly I've only walked 9 miles in rain since I started.
Leeds to Bradford is a familiar route I have travelled many times by train, bus, car, bike and foot. From 2015 - 2019 I lived in Armley and would often use the canal path. For the final 2 years Ro moved in to the house with me, Woody and Twigs - the cat who didn't like me! But even before that he was around a lot to the extent that one of Woody's friends thought he already lived there! It was nice to be housemates again and in 2019 when he left West Yorkshire (17 years since starting university and arriving alone on the National Express coach from London with 2 bags, one containing his huge, soft blanket and the other with clothes and some personal items) I'd written him a card to express deep gratitude for who he was and his friendship for all those years. At that point I believed there were many years together ahead of us. A few months after he died I was searching my phone for any communication we'd had and I found the draft of that message and realised much of what I said to him, about him, I'd actually spoken in the eulogy I gave at his funeral and it meant a lot to know I'd said it to him first.
We soon passed a heron standing peacefully on the opposite side of the canal, and a bit further along stopped for lunch. It felt so normal to be with really good friends who I've known for years on a familiar path, that for a moment, it was hard to comprehend it had taken 21 days and over 300 miles by foot to be there! I began the walk knowing my geographical destination was always going to be Bradford on Saturday 30th November, I'll be back to work in 2 days and felt ready to finish today. I had been wondering since I started this journey how to mark it's end, I wanted to gather with others to hold Ro in our hearts, and find space to acknowledge the significance of the past 3 weeks, but for it not to be about me.
A friend Ru, had the idea of holding a small fire at Horton Community Farm in BD7 on Cecil Avenue, a street many of us including Ro used to live. When they said it, it immediately felt like the right place and way to finish walking. At his memorial we planted an apple tree in the orchard area of the farm. Jonathan chose a Christmas Pippin which we agreed sounded as if it had a cheerful energy, like Ro. It's a peaceful place and also has a comfortable memorial bench. I suggested for anyone who wanted to join us to meet there at 5.30pm, which meant we had to keep moving on the canal!
Maya, Ashleigh and Bradie said goodbye at Kirkstall and would meet us at the farm. Around 30 minutes later it started to get cooler and I realised Maya still had my coat! After carrying everything I needed for most days, it was a strange feeling to not have it with me, and I was slightly concerned I'd get cold as the day went on, but at least I was wearing my Slow Ways hoodie which was nice and warm! We came off the canal path at Rodley as timings meant we needed to main road it into Bradford! A nearby pub was very welcoming, the staff let us use the toilet and filled our water bottles. As we approached New Pudsey, Wren was walking up the street to join us for the final stretch into Bradford, and at this point Christy and Micah said goodbye to catch the train and meet us later. Micah left me with his warm coat which I was very grateful for as the temperature was dropping, feeling more like a November evening.
Anna, Lavinia, Wren and I continued walking along the main road, not a very scenic way to finish the journey, but I didn't mind because I was glad of the company and conversation. It meant so much to walk the final day with friends from a community that Ro was part of, into a place full of memories and intertwined lives. As we walked down the hill towards the city centre it was getting dark. I stopped for a photo in Centenary Square in the similar arms open pose that I'd started with in Brighton, inspired by Ro!
We actually made it to the farm for 5.30pm. I'm not known for being on time so I was very impressed, everyone else was surprised. It turns out I can be punctual when I leave 21 days earlier! The fire was burning and Christy led us in a ritual where we could choose something from the ground like a leaf or twig, and then a meditation with the invitation of listening/imagining/praying with Ro as we walked slowly and silently together around the farm, returning to the fire where we threw what we'd been holding into the flames and could share some words. It was powerful, I really felt Ro's presence and I wasn't the only one. As we started walking I was imagining him there and heard him say to me "hey mate" and then it felt like he was walking right beside me.
Ashleigh had asked to say some words, I thought she was going to speak about Ro, but after acknowledging we were gathering to remember Rimoaine and celebrate his life and the beautiful impact he had on us all, she then said some very kind and beautiful things about me and my journey. It was an emotional moment and means so much to me that others have found connection, support or a space to honour and grieve friends through my walk, because I've experienced all those in the past 3 weeks.
I want to share a couple of extracts, because Ashleigh's words really touched me.
You've created spaces for people to come together, to grieve, to reflect, and to honour the memory of any friend they have lost. Whether walking alongside you for a few miles or following your daily blog from afar, you've made it possible for everyone to feel connected to your mission. Even strangers who crossed your path have carried your story home with them.
The metaphor of walking through grief, literally traversing the places Rimoaine called home, is breathtaking. Along the way, you showed us the power of community. When others carried the heavy load of your bag, even for a moment, they mirrored how we can support one another in our struggles.
The friendship you shared with Rimoaine - so full of love, respect, and joy - makes me want to be that kind of friend to others. And I hope you know that the way you describe him, with such warmth and admiration, is exactly how he would describe you too.
Around the fire there were hugs and conversation, popcorn and toasted marshmallows, along with ginger ale and nosecco. People came and went, there were 18 of us there to remember Ro. After the fire burned down, Ashleigh, Anna, Wren, Lavinia, Lorna, Hari, Vinnie and I went for a curry.
I know Ro would be content that this journey in honour and memory of him ended with friends and food. But he was missed at the table, and forever will be 💜
Thank you from the deepest place of love and gratitude for joining me on this journey which has been painful and joyful, easy and challenging. I never felt alone, even when I was walking on my own in some bleak places. Thank you for all the messages, music, poems, podcasts, books, art, photos and love shared with me as I was walking X